Do you ever just hate the way the world works? Do you ever hate the way that there’s only a select few people who get to choose what happens in the world and everyone in it? We, as citizens, vote these people into power, well I don’t because I’m not allowed to vote in either the place I live nor the place I come from, but we still don’t see the promises they sold us.
Do you ever feel stuck between two places? Currently I’m kinda stuck between England and Canada (and maybe the rest of North America). I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore to be honest, and that really scares me cause I don’t feel rooted down anywhere anymore. My head and my heart feel like they belong in England but at the same time, I have friends in Canada now, and I know what its like to leave friends behind. They stop writing, they move on, they find other friends, and we drift apart, barely talking. The same thing happened when I moved down to Windsor for university, I lost friends, I kinda lost hope too. I lost hope of anyone actually remaining friends with me. Sometimes I feel like my friendships have a shelf life that doesn’t last that long. It doesn’t help that I move away so much.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for all of those friendships, even the not so great ones. All of these friendships have taught me so much about myself, and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but I almost want to know why, or even how, some of my friendships ended. Maybe I could use that as a teaching point for the inevitability of having to make a whole new group of friends. Honestly I’m kinda sick of always having to make new friends. It gets too tiring.
Maybe I should just swallow my pride and move on. Everyone moves on.
Our most recent foster baby has gone to a place where he is going to be loved and where he will thrive. Its hard being away when they go, but it is really quite comforting to know that they are going to a place that is suitable for them, and is the best place for them to be. As with all the kids that have passed through our doors, I wish him all of the luck in the world. May he live every moment, take ahold of any and all opportunities, become a pillar in society, learn from any mistakes he makes, but most of all, I hope he is always happy, always loved. Maybe in 15 or 20 years down the road we’ll see how he is, and see who he has become.
Everyone should be loved. No matter their start in the world.
We’re almost there.
Almost at the end of this chapter.
Its almost over, but our ability to love never will be.